27-May-2020
By now, your life experiences would have led you to realise, to be successful, you’d need a bit of luck or hard work, sometimes, a LOT of both luck and hard work. However, that’s not to say, if you had both in spades, that you’d automatically be successful. There is simply no straight forward formula where you did ‘a’ and you get ‘b’.
Though, because we are all inherently lazy and want things to happen instantly, we buy into this notion that anyone can strike millions easily. Just look at all those successful people on social media, with their nice cars, nice holidays and just flaunting their wealth. So, if these people can do it and for all appearances, they aren’t that special, then why can’t we?
There is no doubt that many of us has tried and emulated our ‘heroes’ and to be like them. We did exactly the same things and for whatever reason, still came up short. Even identical twins born and raised in the same family, who did the same things all the time do end up with different outcomes. That’s to say, even if two people did do exactly the same, that results can still be different for both of them. Perhaps that goes in some way to explain why someone else is successful and you aren’t.
Given you’ve tried all sorts of things and still have not yet succeeded, is there anything else besides giving up and resigned to fate? Or perhaps just sit on the couch and hope for lady luck to smile upon you. The thing is, try and you might still fail (& wasted all the efforts) but if you don’t try, you have guaranteed you will gain nothing and lose nothing. (Arguably, if you stay still – you are falling behind as everyone moves forward.) Then, for someone else, they don’t even need to try and millions land on their lap, it is all terribly unfair.
This terrible dilemma is what Yours Truly termed asymmetry of efforts and rewards. You see, our brains are wired in understanding linearity and causality. For example, our distant ancestors would have climbed a tree (effort) and get to pick the fruit (reward). So, the more trees our ancestors climbed, the more fruit they picked. Life was far simpler back then. However, in modern context, you don’t know what you are actually climbing and even if you did reach the top, there might not be any fruit left. Or in some extreme cases, become the next billionaire because you were the first to market. Another irony is of course, some monkey serendipitously waited at the bottom of the tree and the fruit just miraculously landed next to its feet.
This all or nothing outcome, preceded by doing either all or nothing, has certain appeal but it is not suitable for everyone. After all, not everyone is a gambler and our risk profiles are different. What we want in our lives are dictated by our personal circumstances and personality. So, as a result we make vastly different choices but those tend to be within the comfort zone and of little risk, which also equates to little rewards. Which in turn goes in a long way to explain why you haven’t yet succeeded on the scale you wanted. However, on the same token, you are relative comfortable (in proportion to the effort you’ve expanded) and the only issue is, you wanted more.
In short, the game of chance and life is very obscure, the rules are not easily understood and then the rules change. On top, there are legacies to consider, from your inherited advantages and disadvantages. In another words, your chance of success is either stacked for you or against you. Sadly, for the masses, as you already have experienced, the game is largely stacked against you just much like the casino. Therefore, the question you have to ask is, how can you possibly win? Or at least, improve your odds, so that you at least have a shot.
The answer is probably best put forward by Napoleon Hill – author of ‘Think and Grow Rich’, that is, if you are not successful, that’s because you haven’t found it. Well duh you say but if you turn that concept around, then the answer is obvious, to keep looking and trying. Which means that you need to be doing more things.
So, to elaborate on this abstract thought and to put it into a practical context, Yours Truly proposes that you start by doing work that that you can clearly see the relationship between effort and reward. As this is a very straight forward way to clear any inertia – because you can see/project the results easily and so it should motivate you. Also, it satisfies our psyche of instantaneous gratification. Do note, this is somewhat different to Napoleon Hill’s thinking, where you just do more, even if the benefits are not initially apparent and somehow success will eventually come.
Take an example of cooking a meal. You put in the prep work and cook – effort, as a result, you have meal to eat and you are now not hungry – result. Now maybe, if you did this a million times and you could become a very good cook, then you might end up as a chef or land success in some unexpected way, say your cooking inspired you to open up a chain of restaurants. This is what Napoleon Hill is saying in his message but the problem is we don’t know how life is going to turn out and we don’t want to take the risk either, as you can cook a million meals and life can still be the same, just ask the average house keeper. Again, it is the same old argument of whether you are prepared to take a chance.
To overcome this risk aversion, we need to break it down and to look at it from a different angle. You’d cook because you had to (due to hunger) and your reward is a full belly. Very straight forward! Should there are any other additional benefits, then consider them unexpected bonuses/gifts. Where you have gone wrong before is expecting big results by putting in very little effort, whereas this is about putting in constant effort over time for the little results. The magical idea is, like compound interest, eventually these little actions and results will add up over time to become much bigger results.
This is the fundamental truth of many people’s success stories. Sure, by all means aim for the stars but it must be followed by simple actions and then you just keep going and going. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself, as this is merely the beginning of your success journey, for it is a long and arduous road to success. Even if you don’t end up with billions at the end, regardless, your life is still a lot better than before. Is success guaranteed? Of course not. However, at least you still have those countless little result to show for and that’s nothing to scoff off at.
Now that you have understood the fundamentals, jump start by doing 3 things a day. 3 extra things on top of your normal routine or things you have put off for far too long – i.e. anything that isn’t done normally. For example, eating breakfast does not count as you have to eat anyway. However, eating an ultra healthy meal compared to the normal bacon and eggs does. The reward for your taste bud’s suffering might well be that your body gets a break from the daily fatty deposits. In itself it isn’t going to change your life but again, if you combine it with other actions, over a period of time, it will make a difference.
Doing 3 things is a nice stretch goal, as 1 is far too easy and you need some multiplier effect to speed things up, otherwise it will be too slow and you end up forever chasing your tail. I.e. you’d long given up after seeing very little results. Now, all you need to do is, at night before you sleep, write down 3 things you wanted to do the next day. Then during sleep, your subconscious will think it over and when you wake up the next day, it will be imprinted in your mind and there is a greater probability of doing it. Think of that imprint as a nag inside your head and it becomes a feeling you can’t get rid of until it’s done. At least for Yours Truly, it’s been very effective, more effective than will power and motivation.
Yes, there will be days you won’t succeed in doing 3 things, as you might be too tired, too busy, etc. However, the very act of thinking about things to do and the process of trying, will formulate a new habit and eventually it will become automatic. Just imagine yourself being the car that is now on the freeway, heading towards your destination of success. Sometimes there is traffic and you go slower but you know for a fact that you will get there eventually and you are well on your way. That’s the sort of mindset you’ll need for success, so the question is, what are you waiting for?
Struggle Perpetual 