12-May-2020
Schadenfreude is a German word, essentially meaning you get a dose of pleasure from seeing another’s misery or misfortune. (Literal translation is harm-joy.) As long as it is not us, as long as it happens to someone else whom we don’t like and whom we think are deserving of their fate, then it is sort of ‘ok’. Obviously in the very PC (politically correct) world of today, most people who celebrate schadenfreude do so in quite company. However, from time to time, when the object of scorn is so great, then it is very hard to contain such pleasure.
Take for example, the guy who was foolish enough to take on the coronavirus challenge by licking a toilet and subsequently caught the virus. You’d have to think, what would possess someone to lick a toilet willingly? Like hello it’s yuk and unhygienic. Then there is the other element, that it is probably not a good idea to tempt fate, as the saying goes, you play with fire, you get burnt. Let just say the many judge, jury and executioner of the vast social media world did not display much sympathy toward this young lad.
Now we cannot be certain that he caught the virus by licking the toilet or by some other means. Nonetheless, the fact that he has got it seems to indicate some sort of karma, i.e. he got his just deserves for displaying such stupidity. In short, he asked for it and the universe responded. However, that is just us rationalising some series of events to feel better about ourselves and for us to feel that the world can be just, fair and equitable.
Sadly, as you know by now, the world is far from just, fair and equitable. How do you explain the front line health workers who put their life on the line to help others, where some would ended up being infected and then with a few dying from it. Or someone you know, who happened to be the nicest people on the planet, an exemplary example of the humanity at its best, yet the disease didn’t spare them. Then on top, we have those obnoxious people who carry on with zero regards for others and their ignorance is rewarded with good health and thus being able to carry on causing more grief for others. Such logic defies explanation.
By now, if you have some life experiences and have witnessed such observations over and over, you’d come to the inescapable conclusion – ‘shite happens’. Just as good things can happen to good people, so too can good things happen to bad people. Like wise with bad things, it can happen to anyone – it really is random. Yes, there are some ways to skew the odds/probability, like buying more lotto tickets will increase your odds of winning but still it doesn’t mean you will win. Even if you did win millions, it doesn’t guarantee a happy ever after either. In fact, most lotto stories published are about people who had squandered their fortune and back to where they started – which coincidentally appeals to the schadenfreude within us.
So the million dollar question is, how do you make sense of this seemingly chaotic world, where idiots reign supreme and schadenfreude is our coping mechanism? The answer might surprise you, it is actually (through) compassion.
The thing is we don’t know people’s full story, what they have gone through or why do they do the things they do. Maybe they had traumatic experiences as kids or they are currently living through extreme hardship. The thing is, people live through some very unique experiences and we just don’t understand it, (nor do we really want to – if we are being honest). Most of the time, we find it hard to relate to their experiences (like when someone has cancer or close death in the family). Even if we could relate, the circumstances are different, somewhat tragic and all that is left for us is to offer well wishes and luck.
At the end of the day, people do what they do for reasons that perhaps is only apparent to them. So there is not a lot of point in projecting our values onto them and judge people based on our own moral metrics. After all, people are not going to change because you think or say so. If anything, we should perhaps feel a bit sad for the things they do, for the hurt they’ve taken on themselves and onto others. If only maybe they got a bit luckier in life with having a happier childhood or had more education, parents that are good role models, etc, then perhaps they’d live a more productive lives (in our view of course).
Bottom line is, we should feel compassionate because we are the fortunate ones and others not so. Like most of us are not afflicted with limiting health or persecution. We’ve been lucky to have opportunities and support. Sure, things can be lot better but conversely, they can be a lot worst. Which is why it is important to be mindful, appreciative of the things you have and acknowledge the lucks and advantages you’ve been given. There is only a very small separation between your lofty heights and the dirt of the earth, where at any given moment, everything can be taken away.
The moral of this story is simple, just live your best life and not worry too much about others, as there is very little you can do to change others and what they do. Engaging in your own schadenfreude moment might make you feel slightly better about your own life – especially in comparison – but ultimately it does not contribute anything to make your life better. I.e. your life is the same as it was before. Also, someone right now might be looking at you and having their own schadenfreude moment at your expense. It doesn’t matter if you are right or the righteous, they just think you are wrong and thus the idiot. Obviously, you want the final word and you want your antagonist to agree on your point of view but that is not going to happen. So rather than waste more time on hitting the brick wall with your forehead, your best bet is to work on your own skills so that you can smash the wall with overwhelming superiority.
In conclusion, schadenfreude serves only to limit your mindset and you are far better off with a growth mindset, where you are going to become the best version of yourself. Having compassion helps recast the idiots in a new light as they are the unlucky ones and then, you’d realise you have far bigger and more important problems to worry about. Living your best life means solving your own problems and then at some point you will have the capacity to help others. This friends, is essentially what life is about.
Struggle Perpetual 