4-Mar-2020
Another hidden aspect in the struggle to make life less shite is taking ownership of the fact that we haven’t made the best choices in life and that’s probably because we lack the skills to do so.
No doubt in life, everyone at some point makes mistakes and this process allows us to learn. The problem is, what if we don’t get it, or fail to learn and thus continues to make the same mistakes over and over, until a day of reckoning comes when the problems or issues blow up onto our faces.
Let’s pick some common ailments that modern people face. For example, there never seems to be enough time and we always seem to be so busy. Sure, being too busy to do all the things we need to do is a real problem. However, it is also a symptom, manifested by other variables, such as perhaps we have over committed ourselves. Or that we lacked the reasoning/logic that enables us to decide what is more important. Maybe it’s because we are inefficient with our time and we just waste it without a thought. Everyone has 24 hours in a day, no more no less but it’s how we use the time that matters. Unfortunately, for most of us, we have wasted too many of those precious hours in the past and now we’ve gotten ourselves in trouble. That is, the past has finally caught up.
Another common ill that people complain about is not having enough money. Again it is the effect of either you are not making enough money or spending too much, or a combination of both. Basically, your skills are only worth so much to society and your pay cheque is a reflection of that. On the flip side, let say society values your contribution and you earn a million dollars per year, a figure that many people would be envious of. However, you still struggle because your life style cost you 1.1 mil and so you are always without enough money and in need of more. In this instance, the problem is still not having enough money but it is caused entirely by how you decided to spend that money.
Look, everyone has got their own reasons and perhaps sad stories on why they do what they do and how they got to the now. The fact is, in the past, you thought you were so right and you did what suited you best. Only now you realised it is actually not working. If we were to be honest, we can reflect back into our past, to recollect events and uncover all the stupid things we’ve done. For example, like all the money you have wasted. Or maybe you ought to have pay more attention in school instead of trying to be cool. Regret isn’t quite the right word as it’s associated with a particular unfavourable outcome. The term yours truly would like to use is ‘compounded ignorance’, to describe this long accumulated journey to failure. We thought we were so smart then and now only to discover we’ve been fools all along.
This is not about beating ourselves up for past mistakes. It’s about knowing what went wrong and to begin the process of recovery – to make life less shite. If you can pinpoint the problem, then you have a good shot of fixing it. It’s like going to the doctor and the doctor tries to find out what and where is wrong, so that a proper treatment can be prescribed to fix that exact issue, to get you back to normal. In this case, you having lived your life, so you should know yourself best, or at least a good area to start. However, should your life be so complicated and messy, then there are professionals like psychologist and psychiatrists, who can help you. There is no shame is asking for help and the sooner the better.
By stopping the problem and start making improvements, you are actually (and finally) acknowledging the problem and forcing yourself to confront demons of the past, things you have not properly dealt with. In the process, you will have to learn and gain new skills, which will last for your life time and can only make things a little bit easier. If we go back to the earlier examples, your new skills might be learning how to manage time starting with less TV. Or learn to do budgeting properly so that you are at least on top of your expenditures. It’s skills that you should have known and exercised prior. The only difference is, having suffered, you are a lot more committed this time.
For too long, life has been shite because we were unable or unwilling to deal with certain life’s occurrences/events properly. Now by forcing yourself to finally deal with them, you now at least have a chance to start over and succeed.
Struggle Perpetual 